LIVE TEXT COMMENTARY (all times GMT)
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By Caroline Cheese
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1245: "I've got to thank you," says EJ to Sir Richard Branson. "You swore live on the telly and everyone said I'd be the first." Moving on, here is the aforementioned Jay Kay - wearing a cream fedora hat. Wacky. And now EJ literally drags the Crown Prince of Bahrain onto camera. Is no one safe???
1241: "Come on Martin, I've got Mark Webber, we're going to nail him," barks EJ as he marches off towards the unsuspecting Aussie. Even Boris Becker gets barged out of the way. Blimey.
Pole sitter Lewis Hamilton: "You never have it in the bag. We've done a great job all week but we've got to do a solid job out there. We definitely have the pace."
1237: Martin Brundle has taken Eddie Jordan as his wingman on the gridwalk... could be chaotic.
1237: BORIS BECKER! The great man looks so cool in his aviator specs, I can't listen to what he's saying.
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BBC Sport's Sarah Holt in Abu Dhabi: "It's not only end of term but the end of an era for BMW Sauber. The German-Swiss team are taking part in their 70th and final race after BMW decided to pull out of the sport. BMW's F1 career started back in 1982 as an engine supplier to Brabham, partnering Williams in 2000 before launching their own team in 2006 after buying Peter Sauber's team. BMW Sauber had a marina-side farewell party in the paddock last night with peers Ross Brawn, Christian Horner, Giancarlo Fisichella and others donned in team shirts raising a glass in goodbye. BMW said: 'We wanted to say thank you to our partners, our competitors, the officials, the drivers, the team and the media - so we invited the entire paddock for a farewell drink. The last 10 years in F1 have been very special for us'."
1222: Now then, all you people texting in with gridwalk requests for Brundle. I can exclusively reveal that MB is hoping to speak to Freddie Flintoff and TV funnyman James Corden. So there.
1218: Fernando Alonso is getting ready for his last race with Renault before he heads off to Ferrari. The double world champ says it will be difficult to say goodbye. "This is the team I joined when I was just starting in Formula 1 and where I grew up as a driver. Together we achieved all that we could and so we will always have a special connection." I imagine the (rumoured) £18m salary will make him feel a bit better.
From toxictomb on Twitter:
"Re 1130: Grosjean might find a spot, if not as a driver then as a guide. He does give good 360 views of the car after all."
1209: Seriously, I don't think Brundle takes requests - although I think it's an excellent idea. BBC1 coverage is under way. That'll be the last time I hear The Chain... until I go and see Fleetwood Mac next week. I'm not ashamed.
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1200: And as for the drivers, if only results from Germany onwards counted, Lewis Hamilton would lead Kimi Raikkonen by two points, with Seb Vettel third on 35. And Hamilton looks a nailed-on cert to win today. Don't believe me,
believe the F1 Mole.
1156: McLaren boss Martin Whitmarsh brilliantly invented the Second Half Of The Season Championship ahead of this race - so how are his team's chances looking? From Germany onwards, McLaren are three points behind Red Bull, But while Lewis Hamilton is on pole at Yas Marina, Heikki Kovalainen starts down in 18th after a five-place grid penalty for a gearbox change. Red Bull are second and third on the grid.
BBC Sport's Sarah Holt in Abu Dhabi: "Hello and welcome to the first Abu Dhabi Grand Prix and the last of the 2009 season. How did that happen so quickly?! There is definitely an end-of-term feeling at BBC HQ but the big boss wouldn't let us wear our own clothes or bring board games in. He has also been reminding us that it's just 133 days until the opening race of 2010 in Bahrain. Gulp. An even bigger boss is here and he's just said it's 999 days to the London Olympics. Countdowns like that are why these whip-crackers are in charge."
1146: And cripes, I almost forgot: Boris Boom Boom Becker is about too. Moving on, you'll remember that yesterday Damon Hill
said a deal for Silverstone to host the British Grand Prix was "very close".
Today, the circuit's president has had a little pop at the swanky new Yas Marina track. "The whole thing is more about corporate hospitality and I think the drivers are at the bottom of the chain," Hill told Arabian Business. "I'm a driver so obviously I have an issue with that. I think you have to remember what F1 is about and that's racing. This event is very much focused on corporate entertainment, maybe too much."
1143: Well Kev, I'm not sure if Martin Brundle takes requests, but I'll give it a go. Aerosmith are among a host of stars expected on the grid today. Among them: Kings of Leon, Freddie Flintoff, Naomi Campbell, Timbaland and, er, David Richards, the chairman of Prodrive and Aston Martin.
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1134: The F1 drivers are off on their traditional track parade at the moment. There they are, they're waving enthusiastically at a NEAR-EMPTY STAND. Silverstone, come back, all is forgiven.
1130: Well folks, time to say goodbye to the 2009 Formula 1 season, and with it: BMW, Max Mosley, refuelling, Kers... And probably Romain Grosjean.
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