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By Pranav Soneji
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From Herbie, TMS inbox: "What's that bump I just heard? Oh, it's England coming back down to Earth."
4 overs: Aus 30-0
Nice delivery from Bresnan, getting a ball outside off stump to hold its line as Tim Paine fishes without a licence. But his next shot is thoroughly convincing, advancing down the track to hit the Yorkshireman straight over his head for four. Nice riposte from Bresnan, gleaning a thick outside edge just short of cover attempting to play to the leg side.
Nice delivery from Bresnan, getting a ball outside off stump to hold its line as Tim Paine fishes without a licence. But his next shot is thoroughly convincing, advancing down the track to hit the Yorkshireman straight over his head for four. Nice riposte from Bresnan, gleaning a thick outside edge just short of cover attempting to play to the leg side.
3 overs: Aus 26-0
The bowling-starved Tim Paine gracefully gets off the mark with a stylish square drive through cover point for four, ably assisted by some not particularly convincing fielding from Luke Wright before dabbing a single to third man to steal the strike. There's Merv "Sumo" Hughes reading a fishing magazine. Any keen anglers know whether you can fish in the River Taff?
The bowling-starved Tim Paine gracefully gets off the mark with a stylish square drive through cover point for four, ably assisted by some not particularly convincing fielding from Luke Wright before dabbing a single to third man to steal the strike. There's Merv "Sumo" Hughes reading a fishing magazine. Any keen anglers know whether you can fish in the River Taff?
From Dave B, London, TMS inbox: "Rob J - I very much doubt it too, Rob. She made the same bet last night about the football and all we got was a bit of leg."
2 overs: Aus 21-0
Tim Bresnan, chest as wide as the M1, ambles in with a couple of looseners which Watson plays without too much fuss, picking up two runs from two successive deliveries. Poor Tim Paine hasn't had a sniff. And Watson collects his fourth boundary from 12 balls when he disdainfully flicks a leg-side delivery past short fine leg inside the circle. New Aussie PM Gillard must be jigging in her pyjamas.
Tim Bresnan, chest as wide as the M1, ambles in with a couple of looseners which Watson plays without too much fuss, picking up two runs from two successive deliveries. Poor Tim Paine hasn't had a sniff. And Watson collects his fourth boundary from 12 balls when he disdainfully flicks a leg-side delivery past short fine leg inside the circle. New Aussie PM Gillard must be jigging in her pyjamas.
1 over: Aus 13-0
James Anderson, arms pumping like the pistons of a Flying Scotsman, serves up the juiciest of half volleys for Shane Watson to caress through cover for four, following that up with a handsome punchy straight drive drilled into the wicket and high above Anderson's head for boundary number two. His third comes with a wristy flick off his pad, evading midwicket for four before tea-leafing the strike with a dab to third man. Anderson looks as if someone has just blown a vuvuzela in his ear from point-blank range.
James Anderson, arms pumping like the pistons of a Flying Scotsman, serves up the juiciest of half volleys for Shane Watson to caress through cover for four, following that up with a handsome punchy straight drive drilled into the wicket and high above Anderson's head for boundary number two. His third comes with a wristy flick off his pad, evading midwicket for four before tea-leafing the strike with a dab to third man. Anderson looks as if someone has just blown a vuvuzela in his ear from point-blank range.
1429: Apologies for the lack of updates, someone trod on a cable. So England are out, resplendent in navy blue, while Shane Watson and Tim Paine wander out and indulge in a spot of gardening before James Anderson's first over. Game on.
From Rob J, London, TMS inbox: "Fingers crossed for another England win. I wander if Baggers will honour her bet and streak around the office if we win today?! I doubt it."
No birthday suits on my watch. Instead, I propose some form of breakdancing by the photocopier to provide a 'watercooler moment' for the rest of the office. Backspins, helicopters, bodypopping, the lot.
No birthday suits on my watch. Instead, I propose some form of breakdancing by the photocopier to provide a 'watercooler moment' for the rest of the office. Backspins, helicopters, bodypopping, the lot.
1415: How rude, no greetings, no wafer-thin similes or mandatory random tube observation to open up with, just hardcore team news. A big hello to new Julia Gillard, who will be celebrating her promotion as Australia's first woman Prime Minister by staying up all night to read the BBC's world-famous text commentary.* To complete the circle, she was born in Barry Island in South Wales, a 10-mile stone's throw away from today's venue in Cardiff.
(*This is blatantly untrue.)
(*This is blatantly untrue.)
1406: News! Ricky Ponting has won the toss and has elected to bat first on what seems a slow wicket at the Swalec Stadium. Fast bowler Ryan Harris misses out because of some sort of leg strain, so leg-spinner Steve Smith comes in, while seamer Clint McKay is recalled for teenager Josh Hazlewood. England are unchanged. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
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