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By Ben Dirs
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AUSTRALIA INNINGS
16th over - 54-1 What happened in the old footy last night? Opera. Coliseum. Did I mention? A medal for Paine on the thigh as Anderson gets one to jag back at him. One for Paine with a paddled pull, Ponting having already picked up one to square-leg. That's a bullying shot from Ponting, the Aussie skipper skipping down the track and punching Anderson down the ground for four. The cricketing equivalent of a quick yank of the school tie followed by a quick knee to the reproductives.
15th over - 48-1 Broad digs in a bumper which Paine plays well, swaying back and keeping his eyes on it. Another bumper from Paine and there is just one run from the over, a single to square-leg from Punter.
14th over - 47-1 Anderson is wheeled back into the attack as the chap in charge announces he has no idea what he's doing, which is strangely comforting actually. Two from the over, both singles, this pair in no hurry.
13th over - 45-1 Just the one run from Broad's over, a tuck off the hip for one, as the astonishing news reaches me that Stephen Stills, of Buffalo Springfield and Crosby, Stills & Nash (and sometimes Young) will be popping into the TMS commentary box at some point in the future. He's a cricket fan, apparently. Is there a finer pop song than For What It's Worth? Deee-Lite's Groove Is in the Heart, perhaps?
12th over - 44-1 "Dirs in mug setback shock" is the headline in the office as the work experience chap does a round of teas. Disaster. Complete and utter. I really can't overstate this enough. That's a superlative stroke from Punter - a shot that says "I'm in nick, I've got your number, I'm gonna make you grovel" - on-drive for four from a ball that pitched outside off.
11th over - 37-1 Paine pushes into the covers for one to bring Ponting on strike. Poor ball from Broad, a leg-side bumper which is called a wide, before Ponting gets off the mark with a truncated cut shot through cover-point for four. Contemptuous.
10th over - 31-1 Ponting comes tumbling down the pavilion steps and sees out the final ball of that Broad over. Aggers reveals there's trouble on the underground today, which might explain why there are a few empty seats still at Lord's. Exaggerated leave from Punter, the ball from Bresnan getting plenty of bounce outside off, before Bresnan serves up a leg-side wide, Ponting having a swipe and missing. Excellent spell this from Bresnan, this time he gets one to spit off the pitch and leave a groping Ponting, who takes one hand off the handle.
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Broad into the attack now and that's too short and Watson rocks back and slaps him through mid-wicket for four. Two slips in for Broad to Watson and that's a wicket! Nothing to do with the slips though, Watson was looking for the pull again and he's shanked it straight to the man at mid-on.
8th over - 23-0 Better from Paine, easing an over-pitched delivery from Paine to the extra-cover fence. Bresnan retaliates with a ball that beats Paine outside off and Paine is beaten again attempting an angled glide. Heavy weather this for the Aussie openers, although if they can ride out these choppy waters, there may be runs later...
7th over - 19-0 One more for Paine before Watson leaves confidently, the ball nipping back once again and clearing his stumps by no more than a few inches. One for Watson before Paine up a streaky single courtesy of a top-edged hook, the ball landing just short of the man down at long-leg.
6th over - 16-0 We're having scorecard problems apparently - I'm going to square with you, I have no idea how to fix it but the man to my left reckons he might know a man who can. Jaffer from Bresnan, the ball leaving a groping Paine off the pitch, before the Tasmanian picks up one with a glide to third-man.
'Puzzled' Richard in Howden in the TMS inbox: "Why does Jimmy A have luminous green armpits?"
5th over - 15-0 Replays suggest Watson did actually feather that ball from Anderson's previous over, although to be fair to the umpire, it took quite a few replays to become conclusive. Decent shot from Paine, a nudge down the ground for three.
4th over - 12-0 Bresnan gets one to jag back at Paine, who could do with a few runs today, he's looked pretty ordinary in this series if I'm being honest. Paine has a slash at a ball outside off and misses - that was the shot of a man under pressure - before playing and missing again. Paine nicks the strike with a single.
3rd over - 10-0 Fetch that - short from Anderson and Watson's onto it in a flash, tugging him to the mid-wicket fence. And again, this time not so convincing, but it's four more all the same. Yardy is moved round to in front of the Mound Stand and Anderson puts some extra revs on his next delivery, getting one to angle in to Watson and very nearly take the glove. England appeal, but the umpire's having none of it, and rightly so.
2nd over - 1-0 The jury is out on Tim Bresnan as an opening bowler, the main worry being that he delivers the ball from too wide of the crease. He gets Watson to nibble at one that wobbles off the seam and his final ball is a peach, squaring Watson up and beating his dangling blade. Good start this.
1st over - 1-0 Morning all, Benjamin here just as Anderson's first ball spits off the pitch and beats Watson first up. Watson is off the mark next ball, squirting a single to point, before the fresh-faced Tim Paine is scythed in two by a ball that jags back off the seam. Good first over that. Did I mention I attended the opera last night? No? Idomeneo, start of Mozart's mature period...
By Martin Gough
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1037:Lovely and sunny in north London today. Lord's looks an absolute picture, as I'm sure I've heard somewhere before. I'll hand over to Ben in time for the Aussies to take strike.
1033: Bit of team news for Australia: Michael Clarke has a bit of back trouble so he misses out, with big-hitting left-hander Shaun Marsh, son of left-handed blocker Geoff, comes in.
England captain Andrew Strauss: I think there's a slight tinge of green in this wicket and it might do something in the first 10 overs. Same forumal - restrict Australia, try and excert some pressure then chase whatever they set us.
1033: The pavilion gate clanks and Mr Dirs is almost ready to take the crease. Bit of scratching around first and he'll be with you.
Aussie captain Ricky Ponting: "Andrew and I may as well just shake hands at the gate. I'm pretty sure he would have bowled again. The wicket looks particularly good."
1026: I'm told Australia have won the toss and elected to bat. Commentary starting now on 5 live Sports Extra. Still no sign of the boy Dirs and there are also problems on the Tube heading to St John's Wood so plenty of spectators will be late arriving.
1020: Morning all. England have announced an unchanged side as they aim to finish the series on a high. More train problems from east London so Benjamin Dirs will only be with you at the very last minute.
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